A Testimony & Scripture

All my life, I wanted to grow in my relationship with God. Ever since I was little. Some things have happened in my life that I will never speak of, which caused me to step away from it. I was scared and didn’t know what else to think of it. I was lost. I made sure that having this relationship with God wasn’t forced. I didn’t want it to feel that way or like an obligation because it meant so much to me. As I grew older, I realized there was more to it—more than just going to church on Sundays and reading my Bible once a week. I could talk about this for days. Time and time again, God has shown up in my life. Right on time. He’s never too early or too late. Right when I needed Him the most, He was still there.

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” – Psalm 34:18

It’s easy to get wrapped up in the idea that He’s not listening, but He is. God is great. All the time. No one can take His place. I always wanted to be loved by a man. I had that from my dad, but when he was taken away, I felt sad. I cried for weeks, and the dreams were so graphic, they didn’t help. Phone calls were slowing down, and it seemed like my dad gave up on the idea of seeing his kids again. He gave up. But in those moments that I felt sad, I didn’t completely shut down. I had a peace that was so inexplicable and amazing. God gave me peace and joy.

“And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:7

He’s given me all of that, and I don’t want to ever take it for granted. I’ve learned that even through seasons of pain and loneliness, there is still progress to be made. He does this to help us grow—to learn and understand our walk with Him more.

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.” – James 1:2-3

I’ve jumped into a lot of things, but I’m learning now that nothing will be good unless God is in the center. I have to put God first always. I was distracted a while back, but I’ve finally gained a sense of identity. I want to know my true purpose and call those who are lost to find Jesus. I don’t want to be lukewarm. If I’m going to follow God, I have to do it with all that I’ve got. Some people and things in my life, I don’t want anymore. If I’m being honest, I don’t have a desire for them anymore. I know I deserve better. I’m worth so much in God’s eyes.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11

God’s love never fails. It’s perfect and beautiful. I can never thank Him enough for it.